Monday, October 03, 2011

Sometimes It Just Hits You

I had a kind of sad moment last night, full of mixed emotions. My family and I had been at my parents house enjoying General Conference, dinner and the company of a couple of my brothers' families. We drove home kind of late and Hewitt fell asleep on the way.

I unbuckled him from his carseat and carried his sweet sleeping body into the house. I realized that I rarely get to hold him, or any of my children for that matter, while they sleep. So when I got downstairs I sat with him in the rocking recliner instead of placing him in his bed. I got a little teary-eyed as it set in that these moments, as rare as they currently are, will soon be gone altogether. As much as I sometimes wish my kids would "grow up," in that moment I wanted time to stop. I wanted to keep him a two-year old forever.

As I held him, I knew that I wasn't longing or hoping for another child. I feel complete, albeit overwhelmed, with the four I have. It was just bittersweet to hold a tiny, innocent, sleeping angel in my arms and know this child is it. All the sweet moments you experience while looking in awe at a newborn or small infant are about to expire in this household. And while I love my nieces and nephews, and have a couple on the way to enjoy as newborns, nothing compares to the love you feel for your own children.

I'm glad I took a minute to experience the tenderness I felt. They may grow up and change, but they'll always be my babies.


Katie said...

LIKE. Sometimes I still carry my seven year olds in from the car for the same reason. I've often thought that if for no other reason, I will never go inactive from church because my kids sit on my lap every single Sunday, and that's the only time that really happens anymore. Heaven help us when the kids get too big to snuggle, right?

Kari said...


Very well written indeed.