Monday, February 26, 2007

Dear Baby,

I just wanted to write and tell you that I hope your are enjoying your stay in my womb. And also to go over a few things.

First of all, you know that squishy round thing you like to kick and bounce on? Well, that is not a ball. That is, my child, my bladder. My bladder holds my body's liquid waste and when you kick and bounce on it, well, I waste liquid. So try to keep it to a minimum, mm-kay?

Also, I know you are terribly crammed in there. I've seen how you have to keep your feet way up next to your head and I really am sorry that it's not a bit more roomy in there for you. However, my hips and my ribs are permanent fixtures on my body and no matter how much you push on them they will always be in your way. So let's practice your Feng Shui on this side of the womb. We'll put your crib anywhere you want, deal?

I would also like to ask you if you're okay. It feels to me as though you have experienced several earthquakes while in the womb. I sometimes feel my belly shake so violently and I'm just certain that you're lying on some internal fault. You seem to keep kicking and moving around though, so maybe you can prepare some earthquake survival tips to share with the family upon your arrival.

And last of all, I just want you to know that I love you already. I can't wait to meet you. (But wait I will until May 5, 'cause we still have lots to do before you get here!)



Katie said...

Waste liquid??? You are the funniest person I know, Gwen! So clever!

And you've gone against popular opinion and chosen the 5th to meet your baby?

Kik said...

You are hilarious! I love your writing style, it is so funny. I can't believe you are waiting to find out the sex of your baby. Is the suspense killing you or is it managable? I think you should post a picture of your cute pregnant self!