While going through my cedar chest the other day I came across some of the things that I wrote in High School . I used to write poems and even a few song lyrics when I was all hyped up on teenage drama. Most of my poetry was about love, pain, feeling lonely and the like. The following poem wasn't really written for anyone - although it sounds like it could have been. But I remember writing it. I was "inspired" by a book title and this is what came from it:
I walked last night to a river,
a river running through your heart,
and with the love that I found there
I'm asking for a brand new start.
I looked in the past where you loved me
and I saw where I'd caused you pain.
But the love still inside you has healed that,
you're ready to start over again.
I didn't have to ask for directions
to find where your love for me hid.
But I just couldn't find why you let me
hurt you the way that I did.
Then I saw a part of you before never seen,
hidden away from my outside view;
the part inside of you dying
because of things I've done to you.
I saw that I am part of you,
realized you're part of me too.
Now I feel the pain that I've caused
because I'm dying here inside you.
I realize the hurt that you've suffered,
but I know you hold me inside you still.
If you give me a chance to mend your poor heart,
Love, I promise you that I will.
So...why share this now? Because it is so much in contrast compared to what I might write these days. Even though this wasn't based on a single person, it's pretty indicative of how I viewed relationships. Painful. Hurtful. Dramatic. Blah Blah Blah!
I'm happy to report that all such views of relationships were long ago abandoned. I now know that the best relationships are fulfilling and buoying. They add to your life in such a way that you can't imagine life without them. And these are the type of relationships I now cherish with my husband, my children, my family and a few good friends. Each is very important to me and I hope I let them know how much they really mean to me and how they make my life worth living.