Memoir Tag

Katie tagged me to do a memoir in six words. I'm always telling jokes without receiving the hearty laughter from others that I think they merit. My memoir explains why that is.

My humor is over your head.

But let's not forget my 1st runner-up: I'm a princess, not a maid.
(That one might better serve my posterity.)

I won't tag anyone else, because no one really reads this blog. But if you want to do this, leave me a link in the comments so I can read your six-word memoir.

When Moms Get in Trouble

Kenley has a bit of an attitude. Generally she's very sweet, but, frankly, she can be a beast. She likes to antagonize Isaac and then when he retaliates she storms off with the threat, "I tell Mommy." (A method that doesn't really work for her because I'm usually within earshot and am already wondering why Isaac has tolerated her as long as he has.)

Last night our family congregated in the family room just before bedtime. Jeremiah and I sat tiredly on the couch as the kids ran circles around us. Kenley pulled out her doll stroller, with which wasted no time mowing down Jack. I promptly took the stroller away from her, which did not set well with her. She noticed the phone laying on the floor, picked it up, threatened, "I tell Nana!"

Classic Kenley

(in which I claim no resemblance)

Fortunes Forecast

Once while on a trip I got stranded in a city 4 hours from home. My car overheated on a Sunday so there were no mechanic shops open. It was hot outside so I walked to a nearby Chinese restaurant to get some water. I was obviously distressed and the waitress brought me some water and tossed in a fortune cookie. I laughed as I read the ironic fortune contained inside: "What has been sufficient to take you this far is insufficient to take you any farther."

I kind of feel like I've reached a similar point in my life. I don't have a bad life and I am truly grateful for the many blessings I daily enjoy. What I mean is that I feel like I've not been doing enough, or anything for that matter. Kind of like I've assumed that simply by existing I've been doing my part. I'd like to change that, but I don't know exactly where to go from here.

I'm a young mother with three small children at home and I feel like my reach probably won't extend too far past my own front door. I suppose that I'll just have to start big in a small, albeit important, place. I'd like to act, instead of react, to my children. I'd lke to keep things in perspective. I'd like to take time to develop my talents, maybe even discover that I do have a personality. Changes will likely be gradual, but if you don't see me for a few years, I hope I'm different then than I am now.

I Hope It's Not Contagious!

Last weekend Jeremiah and I went bowling with some friends. As we walked into the bowling alley one of them said, "Now, after you touch the bowling balls, don't touch your face!" Then she went on to explain that she had watched a news segment where someone had tested public surfaces for bacteria. The results showed that the finger holes of bowling balls contained copious amounts of bacteria. Makes sense since you never spray Lysol in your bowling ball before or after bowling, right?

So as we started to bowl, my fingers started itching. I mentioned it to Jeremiah and our neighbor overheard us. "Oh, are you a germaphobe? he asked.

Before I had a chance to answer Jeremiah chimed in, "No, she's a suggestaphobe."

I am very affected by the power of suggestion. At least now I have a diagnosis. Too bad no one suggests that I'm rich.

But there is good news: I out-bowled Jeremiah by 30 in our 2nd game, thankyouverymuch!

Potpourri

Mr. Jack is walking. He's still in his Frankenstein phase and often falls, but it's official. He stands up in the middle of the floor unassisted and takes those few steps with confidence. Even though he doesn't walk too far at one time, he's very pleased with himself...and so am I.

He's also said his first word - "Uh-oh." I guess he also says "Mama" and "Dada" but he doesn't associate them with anything. But he's got "uh-oh" down. This morning I found him scavenging through the bathroom garbage can. I said, "Jack! No!" in my stern voice, to which he repeatedly replied, "Uh-oh. Uh-oh." I'm sure he was trying to convince me it was an accident.

*****

Speaking of words, Isaac's had a few interesting interpretations/pronunciations of words lately. While Blue's Clues was on the TV the other day they were playing with Magenta. Isaac excitedly informed me, "Blue's writing an note to Vagenta!" After I regained consciousness from laughing to death, I corrected him.

Also he was talking about an election - I have no idea why - but instead of "election" he said "erection." Jeremiah was quick to correct him on that one....

Are you sensing a theme?

*****

Kate asked a few days ago on her blog what I would spend money on if I had any to spend. Yesterday, while blog surfing, I found this post. I absolutely fell in love with this laundry room! My laundry room is in the basement, which is not finished. If I had the money I would finish the basement. My laundry room is fairly large and I envision it as a storage space as well. I would put in some large tile for the floor and shelves for food storage around the perimeter. I have created in my mind a multi-functional folding/laundry table with enough gadgets to rival a Swiss Army knife.

In the other room in the basement I'd like to put in a den/library. I'd like a built in desk and built in bookshelves. I'd like track lighting in the ceiling and a sleeper sofa in case we ever need an extra bed for non-existent guests.

I'd also pay for a gym membership and a hot personal trainer - because, let's be honest, if there's no food or hot guys involved, I'm probably not interested.

I have to admit that the ways I would spend money are not quite as classy as Kate's dream-purchases. But I'd probably also plan a great family vacation to make some memories for my sheltered, underexposed kids.

*****

While I'm talking about money, I went to Target Tuesday night and spent $50 on summer clothes for Kenley. I didn't even look for anything for Isaac, in spite of the fact that his birthday is in 3 weeks. No excuse other than girls' clothes are more fun to buy. I bought 2T shorts and 3T shirts because I wanted the shorts to stay on her little bum and I wanted the shirts to fit for a long time. In retrospect, that was stupid. Now her shirts are going to be long and cover her shorts. In which case I should have just bought 4T shirts and called them dresses for the next two years.

Don't feel bad for Isaac though he's getting a red bike for his birthday and some other great gifts...that have not yet been purchased...or decided.

Baby Got Bling!

She obviously hasn't heard of the "less is more" theory.

Getting to Know the Kids

Katie did this for her kids and I thought it was a great way to take a little snapshot of each of my kids. (Sorry for the post piracy, Kate.)

1. Something you do well.
I: "Eating mac & cheese"
K: "Four"
J: *Tugs at ear & yells*

2. Something you wish you could do better.
I: "Helping Jack"
K: "Happy"
J: *Pats table*

3. Your favorite food.
I: "Mac & cheese again"
K: "Mac & cheese"
J: *blinks*

4. 3 words that tell about you.
I: "Silly, goofy & happy"
K: "One, I'm two, three"
J: *Yells, puts fist in mouth & whines*

5. What makes you happy?
I: "Because you always just let me do good things"
K: "Three"
J: *Makes noises while pressing wrist to mouth*

6. The most important thing in your life right now.
I: "Um...you?" (I appreciate that it was in the form of a question.)
K: "Three"
J: "ma ma ma ma" (SERIOUSLY!)

7. Your favorite movie.
I: "Aristocats!"
K: "Tats!"
J: *grins*

8. Your favorite book.
I: "Spider likes matching pairs" (He can read it by himself)
K: "Dog book"
J: *blank stare*

9. Your favorite thing.
I: "You making mac & cheese"
K: "Princess"
J: *scratches head and sighs*

10. Your favorite place to go.
I: "Grandma & Grandpa B's"
K: "Dora, Boots"
J: *Makes noises while pressing wrist to mouth*

11. Your favorite thing to draw.
I: "Scribbles"
K: "A washcloth"
J: *Bites fingers*

12. Something you want for Christmas.
I: "Two more 'Engine' Turtles"
K: "Crackers"
J: *bites thumb*

13. Your favorite color.
I: "Red & White"
K: "Mommy & Orange"
J: *smiles & rubs eyes*

14. What do you like to play?
I: "Like, games...like shooting" (N64)
K: "Hullabaloo"
J: *cries*

15. What do you like to do when it's raining?
I: "Just stay home"
K: "Two"
J: *rubs eyes*

16. Your favorite animal:
I. "Ooh! That would be a elephant!"
K: "Bear"
J: *rubs nose and gazes across table*