Wednesday, September 30, 2009

At This Point, I Guess I'm the Baby

Well, tomorrow is the big day. People keep saying things like, "You must be excited!" The truth is, right now, I can't really wrap my mind around having another baby. It's like I expected to be perpetually pregnant and this whole "birth" thing seems like a surprise.

Perhaps it's because, so far, there have been no surprises. I'm not used to that. So the fact that I'm still pregnant at 38 weeks and that I have a date for the actual delivery is kind of foreign to me. On the one hand it's been nice to have a date to look forward to. However, I've still been on alert - paying attention to every contraction and carefully feeling for the baby's movements. I feel bad saying it, but I guess I feel a little let down. Not that I wanted that emergency, far from it, I've just been waiting for one because of my history.

I suppose what I'm feeling is a strange form of relief. I've been expecting the unexpected and I guess what I've been met with, in the end, really was unexpected - a full term pregnancy with no emergencies. At any rate, I'm sure all of this will be just mindless prattle tomorrow when I get to hold my new baby boy and see just how worth waiting for he's been.

Hmm, I just read through all that, it sounds a little depressing. Don't get me wrong. Our family has been praying that the baby would be healthy and full term. I truly feel that our prayers have been answered, for which I am immensely grateful. Today I am just feeling a lot of anxiety which, hopefully, will dissipate as the day progresses and I can focus on what tomorrow really means - another one of Heavenly Father's most valiant spirits will join our family and be encircled in our love.

Maybe it would help me if he had a name. :0)


Audrey said...

I was never started, so I can't even come close to knowing what that kind of anticipation would feel like. But I would think that might have a hard time sleeping. I would.

But to fill the time I would have the siblings do something that they think, needs to be done to prepare for little "audrey-o". (Nice name huh? I added the 'o' for masculinity purposes.) It might be fun to see what the kids came up w.

Good luck tomorrow Gwenny! You'll have a tiny warm bundle curled up on your chest sleeping (jealous=me) before you know it. (((Hug)))

Chapmans23 said...

Oh Gwen you poor thing, you are just so used to being surprised by unexpected surprises. You have been blessed and all things will work out just beautifully. I am waiting FOR THE NAME OF YOUR NEW SON.

Alisha said...

You're not a baby. You're as tough as they get. I can't imagine delivering babies via c-section because the recovery is long and arduous.

Congratulations! I got the message from Jeramiah. I realize there are pros and cons to lower weight babies...but I wouldn't mind delivering a kid that weighed in a full 2.5 pounds less than Genevieve.

I hope your recovery is going well.

Have you decided on a name yet? If I ever have a boy I want to name him Jonathan...I wouldn't mind sharing - with you alone.

Miss you!

Tanielle said...

I hope all went well, and you are feeling good!!! I've been wondering about you! Can't wait to see pic of him!!!